“Wings, Breasts and Thighs”

No I’m not ordering a value meal from KCF, but this story does have something to do with chicken…and chicks for that matter, but not the baby chicken kind, but rather the kind you would see in a Motley Crue video.

My girlfriend and I were discussing where to eat dinner, and with me being a carnivore I wanted to get wings, so I suggested Hooters. My girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with my suggestion, thinking I only wanted to go there to get my rocks off…to quench my lust, not my appetite.

I told her it’s wasn’t my fault that the majority of places known for their wings are also known for their ensemble of bevy beauties wearing next to nothing serving them, and I told her that fact had nothing to do with my desire for breasts…ooops I mean wings.

Speaking of Hooters girls…I always kind of thought of a Hooters girl as the first step in the evolutionary process of a chick becoming a porn star, of course with the stripper in-between…is that bad? One day serving wings, the next day swinging on the pole and then finally baring all and getting their freak on in front of the cameras for all the world to see.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I weren’t seeing eye to eye on the matter, she wasn’t buying the fact that I only wanted to go to Hooters to eat their wings and not to look at their breasts and thighs.

She just couldn’t believe that their food was actually worth eating, she thinks people (meaning of course men and on occasion lesbians) only go to Hooters for the waitresses. I assured her that wasn’t the case, but to be honest I personally didn’t view it as a bad thing that the waitresses were dressed like Daisy Duke in lycra and nylon, after all I am a red-blooded male.

Needless to say she didn’t really care much for my honesty, and I could see it in her eyes that she wanted to slap the taste out of my mouth. So I quickly improvised and said, “you mean to tell me that if there was a place that served Bon Bons and the waiters just happen to look like the Chippendale dancers that you wouldn’t want to go”?

Well if that was the epitome of adding fuel to the fire I don’t know what is, chalk another one up to male stupidity...…I guess it’s true, stupid is as stupid does.

Now not only did she look like she wanted to slap me silly, but she also wanted to punch me square in my grill with the hopes of breaking my jaw so I could no longer say anything stupid…or eat wings.

To get back on her good side I suggested we just get something to bring home, since I would rather spend my evening with her and only her. So she ended up eating a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and we watched Magic Mike on Blu-ray…in 3D.

So men…heed my words, Hooters is cool for an outing with the guys but not with your woman. I’m still having nightmares of being chased by schlongs that smell like mint chocolate chip ice cream.

MJM