“Rep Your State”

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are fat, and by fat I don’t mean hip and/or cool, but rather overweight and a digit or two shy of having their own zip codes.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are lazy, they don’t move and/or do anything physical unless they have wheels under their asses and/or a gaggle of bastard kids who do their bidding like as if they were trained circus monkeys.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are opinionated, they will let you know how they feel without you even having to ask them, and of course you are entitled to have your own opinion, but just as long as it coincides with theirs.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are redneck, the whole no shoes, so shirt no service rule doesn't exist, and where people have more guns than they do teeth and where the Rebel flag flies high and proud.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are ignorant, they will let a door slam in your face when you are literally right behind them, they will bump into you in the store without saying excuse me and they will cut you off in traffic because you are only doing the speed limit.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are dumb, they are so dumb it takes them 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes, they are so dumb that they got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the “W”s and finally they are so dumb because they really believed all that hanging chad nonsense during the 2000 United States presidential election.

I live in a state where a good portion of the people here are assholes, they will make your life miserable, they will make it a living hell and they will be smiling and enjoying themselves they whole time while doing so.

Okay, we established that the state in which I live in is full of fat, lazy, opinionated, redneck, ignorant, dumb, assholes…so where pray tell do I live, well good old crappy Florida of course.

I know what you’re thinking, if Florida is that bad why don’t I just pick up and leave, well unfortunately I am stuck here, as things stand right at the moment I have no choice but to stay put and make the best of things.

So now you know that Florida is actually an acronym, and now you know exactly what it stands for, well unless you missed that part, and then just forget I said anything.

MJM