“Toilet Troubles”

What is one to do…when after dropping the kids off at a public pool (using a public toilet) they either leave debris (aka skid marks) in the bowl or clog the toilet…and there is no toilet brush and/or plunger available to them?

Do you just run out of the restroom and hope no one sees you, maybe even go as far as to wrap your head in one of those toilet seat covers like some kind of make shift mask with the hopes of concealing your identity…of course using one that isn’t already used…unless that is your thing, then have at it.    

I recently found myself in a situation such as this…

After using a public toilet I noticed I left some chocolate on the bottom of the bowl and since there was no toilet brush in sight I had to come up with a plan to get rid of my mess. I was also in one of those single person public restrooms with people outside the door waiting to get in, so I knew I couldn’t just leave it without the risk of being called out and even humiliated.

I figured that maybe by flushing more toilet paper down the crapper it would eventually knock the debris loose so it would flush down, getting rid of all the evidence of my crime…all that is except for the nasty stink that lingered behind.

I must have spent about an hour or so tossing in toilet paper and flushing the commode with the hopes that it would clean up the mess I left so I could walk out proudly with my head held high. The whole time people were knocking on the door and wondering what was taking me so long…I would tell them I was having explosive diarrhea and scream out in pain to scare them off.

I was having no luck scaring off the crowd outside the bathroom or getting rid of the brown smears on the bottom of the bowl, so just like what any other logical thinking person would do when in a situation like my own; I started throwing more toilet paper in the bowl…I figured the more toilet paper the better my chances were.

I started balling it up and flinging it in the toilet like a major league pitcher putting one over the plate and with just as much speed and accuracy…then it happened. I flushed the toilet and instead of the water going down it started rising, it rose so high that it started coming over the bowl...and needless to say I started freaking out.

Not wanting to get my feet wet…and all poopied…I jumped on to the counter and sat there like a gargoyle atop a castle while trying to figure out my next move.

Now with the water flowing out of the bowl and onto the floor…like a brown waterfall…it started saturating the floor and moving closer to the bathroom door.

I knew that there was now no way out, I was going to be found out if I stayed in there any longer, so I wrapped a toilet seat cover around my head…threw open the bathroom door…and ran out of the establishment like as if the police were after me…never to return.

MJM