First it
was the seats on an airplane, fat people had to buy one or two extra all
depending on their circumference to accommodate for their girth.
Now however,
they’ve gone too far.
They are
attacking innocent men who have no other option but to sit with their legs
spread on the subway (manspreading), either that or run the risk of racking themselves.
When it
comes to buying extra seats because you’re fat I’m all for it, because for the
most part fat is something you can control, but having balls is not and one
should not be penalized for it.
Of course
one does not have to have their legs spread as wide as a trailer park tramp who
accepts foodstamps for a good time, but there does need to be a gap just like
in Michael Strahan’s teeth.
I’m all for
standing so a woman could sit, but trust me another man would completely
understand and not think twice about letting the spread happen as needed.
If anything
a man sitting next to you might just get up to help a brother out, trust me I
know because I’ve done it myself, us carriers of the jewels have to stick
together.
And if need
be, when I do ride the subway, I would have no problem buying one or two extra
tokens, all depending on what kind of testicle day I was having, just to make my wiener and meatballs feel
comfortable.
As for all those
people out there who are claiming it’s just an ego thing, which I’m sure are
all women, don’t know the half of it.
I don’t
partake in the manspread because I think I’m hung like a horse, but rather
because I know the pain of having one’s balls squished, and believe me it doesn’t
feel good.
Some of you
may say if that’s the case then why do butch lesbians do it?
In all
fairness though that is not an accurate comparison, because they are trying to
be like a man, so they will take on certain mannerisms of ours to accomplish
that task, even sitting like us.
If I want
to be like a fish I would swim in the ocean, but that doesn’t mean I can
breathe under water, understand?
The bottom line
is that this “movement” isn’t really about our fellas and how much room we
allow for them, but more so the fact that some men won’t vacate their seat for
a woman.
I completely
understand that, and as I stated before would be more than happy to do so, but
in all reality this kind of behavior from the men of today is partially to
blame on the women of today.
Relax,
before you go all girl power on me, I’m just saying that you send mixed signals
when it comes to what a man should and shouldn’t do for you.
You need to
make up your minds and let us know, do you want us to act like complete
gentleman, or let you be woman and hear you roar?
No matter
what the outcome, just please keep the “kids” out of this.
They have
nothing to do with all this nonsense and don’t deserve to be placed in front of
the firing squad or in a vise-grip (ouch).
Well there
you have it, my feelings on the spread and the men behind it.
Take it for
what it’s worth but always remember, while yours can close shut like a clam,
ours has to have plenty of breathing room like a blossoming flower.
MJM
