A word that
is not like any other, it is a true double-edged sword, when spoken by a select
few under certain circumstances it could be considered a term of endearment, a
sign of camaraderie, but when spoken out of anger it becomes a dagger that
pierces the heart of the intended target and makes him/her feel less of a
person.
The phrase,
“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” obviously does not hold true, at least not
when it comes to this word and the pain it could cause when used by ignorant
hate-filled people.
The word is
muttered behind closed doors, where people feel safe from any repercussions
and/or retaliation as a result of doing so, in a sense they feel as if they are
breaking some kind of unwritten law when it crosses their lips.
Now I don’t
personally think that everyone who uses this word is a racist.
Sometimes,
I think that people don’t realize how horrific this word is and what it could
do in the wrong hands, they just do so without thinking and/or concern with who
they may hurt in the process.
I’m white,
so white that I’m almost transparent, so I can’t pretend to understand the
magnitude of devastation this word has caused over the years, all the people it
has hurt and why it holds the power it does.
To me, it
is nothing more than hateful garbage that has no purpose in our world,
completely meaningless and totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
But then
again, as I said prior, I am white and never had to feel the sting of such a
word.
I won’t sit
here and tell you I’ve never used the word because that would be a lie, but I
will do my best to avoid using it at any and all costs in the future, because
it is not something that should be taken lightly, regardless of which ethnicity
you are.
But I can
honestly tell you I’ve never used it in a hateful manner, only in a mindless
joking kind of way, which by the way does not make it any better but I’m just
being truthful here.
The bottom line
is this, we as whites don’t understand just how deep this word cuts, the damage
it has done and will do moving forward, and so as with all forms of hate speech
we need to remove it from our vocabulary and let it die the death it deserves.
Okay, you really scared me at first! Really brave (or insane) to use "it" in the title, but I understand why you did. I appreciate your honesty, and yes, I agree the word should just be stricken from our language. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteThanks girl.
DeleteThe only reason I used it in the title is because I wanted to get the point across of just how powerful the word really is, to make people think.
Looks can be deceiving my friend, that is why we are not to judge a book by its cover.
ReplyDeleteThere are many hate-filled words that have no place in our world, and we as people, need to work together to squash them all.
Agreed! I used to think it was crazy to ban words, or let words have such control, but as you said, until you're in that place you don't know just how much words can hurt. I feel that way about a lot of words, depending on his they're said, they can make us feel a lot of things. Well done.
ReplyDeleteWords can be deadly, as reflected by the many suicides of young people who have been bullied through the various forms of social media we have today.
DeleteThat's just how I roll girl, like an armored 18 wheeler coming full-steam at'cha!
ReplyDeleteOh great pull with the title and I completely agree about banning certain words that have no place in this world but to do harm. Well said.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much my friend, and glad to see I'm in good company.
DeleteYou certainly got my attention, Liz. Way back in the day, I had a Psych. class, part of which was taken up by a study of "The Loaded Word". It was defined as a word that got some kind of emotional response from SOME people. Words that had a different meaning, conotation or emotional impact on different people. Racial or sexual slurs are a classic example. If you belong and are the recipient, they are extremely painful, and are the cudgel used so often in the bullying that's seems to have reached epic proportions in our schools today, and have led to so many tragic results. Liz, thanks for having the guts to open it up and allow us to air it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insight Pete, what you said holds a lot of truth. No matter what anyone says, words do hurt and can be the beginning of the end for some.
DeleteHey Michael,
ReplyDeleteI never use this word, and it sickens me when I hear people throwing it around today in regular conversations. I have friends of all races and color and this is one of those hurtful words that is just not right to use among many others. I applaud you for discussing such a heated and controversial topic.
Thank you my friend. You are absolutely correct, there is no place in this world for words such as that, it is pure hate and needs to be removed from our language all together.
DeleteWow! I applaud you for addressing a controversial topic.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much my friend.
DeleteI go to a black church and am the minority - I am a Whitey McWhiterson, if there ever was one. We all love each other despite the cultural differences. In the end, people are people and I'm proud that they call me "sister." It has opened my eyes to how they feel about whites and racism. It's real, even in today's society.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately racism is still very real, it comes in all colors not just white, and only we can stop it. We must look past color and work as a unit to stomp it out.
DeleteWhew! I gave you the benefit of the doubt after seeing the title. There is no "ok" time to use the "N" word--even in rap lyrics, between African Americans, etc. It is a double edged sword. Especially, white people cannot use it in ANY connotation. It is just wrong. I am the whitest woman in America and the mother of a biracial child: I am particularly attuned to the use. This word and two others are not allowed in my hearing or you will get told about it . . . the other two words are any form of faggot or retard. We are smarter than this America, there are so many other words to be used if you want to insult someone.
ReplyDeleteOk--rant over . . . well written, my friend.
There is never an acceptable time to use that word, black or white it doesn't matter, it is a very hateful word and should be removed from our language and society as a whole.
DeleteHat off to you my friend. You've shown that you are not just about arses, farting, pooing and lusting - hilarious though that is - but are a deep thinker, nay, a philosopher. And (more seriously) I believe that a direct, no-nonsense raising of the topic is a far more influential way of attacking racism than some ramblings of an academic in a university ivory tower.
ReplyDeleteMy friend I am more than just gross bodily humor kind of guy, believe it or not. I know it's hard to tell considering what the majority of my writings are about, but it's true.
DeleteAs long as the black community continues to use this word as an insult hurled at each other, no one can expect other races to stop using it. I blame rappers, sports figures, etc for not allowing this word to die. No matter how hard social leaders (priests, politicians, community activists) try to educate people about hate speech, until they can get the high profile individuals that young people look up to, to change, it's just going to be a never ending situation. Hate is taught and learned by example.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, you're absolutely right. This has to be a team effort, everyone has to stop using the word for this movement to be fully effective, otherwise it's not going to happen.
DeleteThere are only a handful of words that bother me to no end. Words that, even as a writer, I feel should be banished into purgatory. This is one of them. I don't give a crap what justifications people have for using them (even if they are black), it's a horrible word.
ReplyDeleteI am all for ending the use of this word. I don't know how besides education but we all just have to keep trying.
I couldn't agree with you more, there is no reason to use this word, white or black it doesn't matter.
DeleteThis is one of your best posts, Michael!! Yo uphold submit this everywhere! As far as experiences with this go, when I was little growing up here in the southern region of Florida, schools were still segregated and so many whites used the "N" word. Even as a child I cringed at the use of this word because I was raised by a nanny who was an African American woman and as far as I was concerned, she was my mom and I was her baby. I loved the woman so much and never even knew what racism was. I didn't even really realize the difference between our skin color---she was just the mom I loved and depended on. I am so grateful that I live in a multicultural area and as far as I'm concerned, there IS no difference in skin color. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, green, gay, or straight---my door is ALWAYS open. That's what we're put on this earth for---to love one another. It's that simple.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the love my friend, you're the best.
DeleteTimes were a lot different back then, people separated themselves based on the color of their skin, their heritage, etc. An unfortunate time to say the least, and thankfully we have evolved since then, but we still have a long way to go before we are where we need to be.
I have to say that Terrye took the words right out of my mouth. If the word is to be banned, let it be banned by all races. Would it not be racist for one race to feel fine when using it, but not okay for other races? I don't like it and don't use it. But, it does irritate me when I see the race card being played so often by Kanye West and such, and the lyrics to some of the raps they release include this word. Somewhat hypocritical, one might say. Well done, MJM.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree my friend, it's a hateful word and should not be used by any race, regardless of the reason why. We can't make something disappear if we are always giving it center stage.
DeleteIt IS interesting how the word has now been imbued with such emotion that even saying it loud is difficult. More pejoratives should be treated this way.
ReplyDeleteCarol
http://www.carolcassara.com
Very well said my friend, some words carry a very nasty sting with them, this being one of them.
DeleteI feel mixed about using this word.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it should be removed when it is part of a historical text - that seems dishonest. The author used that word. To revise the text now dilutes the offensiveness of what was once a common word. How will people understand the sting if they never see how often and easily the word was used?
However, I don't approve of its continued use in current lyrics. Bury the word, no. Its use should be relegated to people who intentionally mean to be vindictive. So called "embracing" the word though, I do not understand. Have I used it - yes, I have. In rare past moments of bittersweet affection. More often to denigate. Those people who are doing something I disapprove of, they get that label. I am working on not using it though. Because of the overwhelming negativity of it. I don't want to contribute to that discourse.
Then again, the rappers who use the word are not concerned with my opinion or that of anyone with a similar opinion. They feel that they have the right to "express" themselves. They intend to offend. At least, that is my assumption ... as Judge Judy would say, I do not have knowledge of the workings of their minds.
Shrug. Ultimately, it is a word. A word with largely negative denotation and connotation. Randall Kennedy wrote a book with that word as the title. The book is a little repetitive, but it's an interesting take. I've mostly read it.
Thanks for writing this post.
You make a valid point, we shouldn't remove it, but we also shouldn't tolerate people (regardless of color and/or circumstance) using it like it's no big deal. We need to work together to stomp out hate all together, we should work as a unit to make this world a better place for all of us, we need to stop thinking only about ourselves and focus on making things better for everyone involved.
DeleteThanks for taking the time to read/comment on what I had to say, I really appreciate it my friend.
You are brave, Whitie. I fuggin hate the word, personally, and wish that it could be stricken from our vocabulary for the very reason that it has to become an argument. I am transparently white, too, and I've never had a word that cut me the way that word cuts, so I can't understand the pain of it, but I what I do understand is that we're all people, living, breathing the same toxic air, and until we, as a whole, abolish the hate, it will always exist. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteAnd to be a complete dumb blonde...I'm like totally smitten with your blog. I need to come visit more.
There is so much hate in this world it's ridiculous, you would think that as years past and people involve mentally that we wouldn't have these issues, but all in all I guess people are still just as stupid as they ever were.
DeleteThanks for the love my friend, you are freaking awesome.
What up, my nigga! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou KNOW I couldn't resist, man. And I feel no shame over it. No regrets. No qualms. No apologies. No guilt for using the word, "Nigga." None. I agree with your heart on this one, but I couldn't possibly be in greater disagreement with the post or some of the above comments.
I grew up in California. Half my school was black. Half my friends were black. We all used the word, "Nigga." We never used it disrespectfully or racially, and we never took it that way. We used it the same way most blacks our age and younger use it today...same way black (and white) rappers use it today.
Actually...scratch that. We don't use the word, "Nigger." I don't use that word. And I've never used that word. Because...there is a difference between "nigga" and "nigger." Huge difference. Judging by the comments above, I totally expect someone to chime in and argue with me, and that's cool. They can be ignorant.
What many blacks and whites have done in recent generations is to take a racially charged word (nigger) and rob it of all its power. "Nigga" means nothing today. It has no power. It has been defeated. It has been disarmed and transformed.
"Nigga" now means "bro" or "friend" or "pal" or "buddy." I think it's brilliant. I don't think it should be banned at all. It shouldn't even be discouraged. Languages evolve, and this evolution is a positive one. On the contrary, the word should be tossed around even more. By blacks. By whites. By asians. By latinos.
I love my niggas. Every damn one of them. No matter what color they are. ;)
Now, BITCHES on the other hand...
Do you think that changing the word to "nigga", and using it the context that you described, makes it any less stronger when used as a tool to further hate? Whether we want to admit it or not, when people outside the African American race use the word nigga (or nigger), it is still offensive and sometimes even hurtful to some. I could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time, but that's just how I see it.
DeleteWow and thanks +Chris Desatoff. You've just added another dimension to what has become quite an in depth discussion to what I consider an explosively loaded word, "Nigger". I appreciate your perspective.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right my friend, he did bring into light another side of the argument.
DeleteI disagree. I think many 'whites' understand how hurtful this word is, and I'd suggest to anyone that uses it - no matter who they are and under ANY circumstances, to cease and desist. I find it offensive and I'm not black. When I hear African Americans use it among themselves I just can't get my head around it. It's like being in a sinking boat and believing it's smart to smash holes in the side.
ReplyDeleteVery well said my friend, and oh so true.
Delete