“Stereo(typical) Life”

Think how crazy this world would be if stereotypes actually represented the majority instead of the minority, we would be in for one hell of a ride. This place would be like a giant circus, forget the ozone layer, we have the big top.

If all blondes had huge silicone weapons of mass distraction and were as dumb as a box of rocks, getting laid and finding a floatation device in the case of a water landing would be as easy as 1 2 3. Life would be full of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee/Kid Rock kind of relationships, and honestly I wouldn’t mind one bit being the ugly one.

Think how much fun areas like Compton and Harlem would be if all African Americans could dance like nobody's business, these places wouldn’t be scary anymore, they would be like a Michael Jackson video on a constant loop. Instead of gunfire and sirens you would hear the boom of ghetto blasters and the phrase, “you got served” every second of the day. The only bad thing about these areas would be the shortage of ribs, chicken and watermelon.

What if all Mexicans were really in this country illegally and here to steal our jobs, think how much fun that would be for employers, forget about firing the bastards when they didn’t do their jobs, just call Immigration and have their asses deported…boo ya! You would also never have to worry about them asking for a raise either, minimum wage, below minimum wage or even paying them in tacos, it doesn’t matter because who would they complain to.

All those pesky gays, out for your children and your pecker, well maybe we should just castrate them all, that would solve everything…right?  These bastards want to nail anything that stands up to pee, all us straight men should walk around with chastity belts on to help protect our balloon knots from hostile meat darts, we need to keep them intact people.     

What if all the Republicans really were gun totting, death penalty for everyone, sleep with their sister rednecks, would we really be comfortable voting for them and having them be the face of our country? Would we have to keep an eye on the American flag, because if not we could one day see it disappear and replaced by the Rebel flag?   

What if all the Jewish people out there really where penny pinching cheap asses who would rather die than part with a dollar, would society be like the Titanic, with all the Jews in first class being escorted to the lifeboats when the ship is sinking while the rest of us our locked down below? Would the ever so popular and extremely fun kids play thing known as the top be replaced by the dreidel?

What if people from the Middle Eastern were all terrorists? Would you be afraid to piss them off because you would never really know if that day they were sporting their bomb belts or just their regular belt they picked up at Walmart, or maybe they just had enough and were ready to end it all so they could have their seven virgins and treated as royalty in heaven.  

What if all Asians were master martial artists, computer geniuses and math was as easy as “pi” to them; would we all want one in our crew, especially when we were in school? Bully and algebra wouldn’t bother us at all, hey punk, one plus one is two fists in your face fool.
 
What if all us white people…hmmm well…I guess we do fit our stereotypes to a T, man we’re lame. We can’t dance, we’re tight asses and of course we are “the man” that everyone keeps talking about. Dang it man, why couldn’t I have been born a minority…stupid white parents!

Stereotypes are hilarious, and anyone who actually believes them is even funnier. Come one people, wake up and smell the crap that is being spewed by all these hateful pricks and stop spreading this nonsense around like as if it was butter.

MJM