“Inside My Head”

On the outside I look like any other normal cracker, someone who should belong to a country club, be playing polo and sporting a name like Biff, but on the inside is where the monster creeps.

Now don’t be alarmed, when I say monster I don’t mean an evil monster like Dracula, the Wolfman or Casey Anthony, but something more along the lines of Taz from Looney Tunes, wouldn’t hurt a fly and no one understands what the poop he is saying.

My mind is crazy, it needs to be put in a straightjacket and locked away in an insane asylum, never to see the light of day again. There is no method to its madness, it likes to laugh when others frown, it finds humor in things that others see as taboo it thinks up wild and crazy things out of the blue and for no reason whatsoever, it just doesn’t belong in our tight butt society.

I can’t control it either, it marches to the beat of its own drum, it’s like one of those obnoxious little Chihuahua dogs, speaking of which; I bet it would look fabo in the handbag of a hot blonde, not trying to be boastful I’m just being honest.

Let’s just say if my mind was a magazine it would be a cross between Mad and the National Enquirer with a little bit of Playboy thrown in too, just because you know, I am a man (Tim the Tool Man grunt) and it would come complete with crazy stories, off-the-wall humor and sticky pages.

Don’t get me wrong I do love the little booger but I also know what’s best for humanity, the world isn’t ready for him…it…Bob…I’m not really sure how to refer to it, I’ve talked it over with the voices in my head but we just couldn’t figure it out.

What shall I do, should I sniff some glue with the hopes it will screw up my brain and leave me all boring and humorless like so many other people walking around today, should I find the closest pool and leap in head first without looking beforehand, should I only watch PBS and CNN…what the poop is one to do.

MJM