No this isn’t
one of those porno pieces, sorry to burst your bubble, so zip up your pants and
put away the lotion.
You’re
getting head here that is for sure, but unfortunately it’s not the kind of head
you were hoping for, it’s the kind that includes a brain…you know that thinking
thingy that a few of us use.
This is a
collection of random thoughts that were lurking in my noggin like a stalker in
the bushes outside of your window.
There’s no rhyme
or reason to any of it, just various bits of information that may, or may not,
be useful to you.
Some of
these things make my head insides hurt and peeve me beyond belief, make me
question exactly what is going on here, and since it’s the internet and I, like
many others of course, have a blog I figured I would share my thoughts with all
you fine people here in cyberspace…so enjoy.
Okay here
goes…
Number I:
If an
athlete breaks the law, regardless of what sport they play and/or how talented
they are, they should be punished just like any average Joe would be, no
exceptions.
These
people are paid to do what they love, it’s not like they are doing it out of
the kindness of their hearts for the benefit of the fans, and so they shouldn’t
be allotted any special privileges as a result of it and/or be considered above
the law because of it.
If I’m
working at McDonalds, and I decide to haul off and slam Birdie in the face with
my fist all over some cold fries, I can pretty much guarantee that I would be
escorted out in handcuffs and vacating the head fry cook position immediately,
especially if the whole thing was caught on candid camera.
They are
paid to represent a city, to represent a team and most importantly to represent
the fans, so if they don’t act accordingly they should be allowed to play the
game, no three strikes here, more like one and you’re done.
Call me old fashioned, but in my day if someone wanted a raise they earned it, not just held up a sign demanding it.
Call me old fashioned, but in my day if someone wanted a raise they earned it, not just held up a sign demanding it.
Money for
nothing, and your chicken McNuggets for free!
Number II:
I personally
think this Kendall Jones character (if you’re not familiar with her work click
here), and others like her, need to be hunted just like the animals they hunt.
Am I
bullying her, well let's ask all the animals she killed solely for the
"sport" of it what they think about it.
I'm sorry,
but I think her actions are disgusting and deplorable, as I'm sure some of you
will feel my words are, and should not be celebrated to any extent.
It sickens
me that these people display the carcasses of their kills as if it was a
trophy, like they actually accomplished something praiseworthy.
They pose
for pictures with it like if it was one of those comical cutouts you would find
at the fair where you stick your face through and snap a picture, what an utter
disgrace if you ask me.
I know all
you so-called sport hunters out there will tell me this isn’t Looney Tunes, and
that the animals you kill aren’t like Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck, they are just
soulless creatures here for our amusement since of course we are the superior
species on this planet.
With that
said, I must remind you that you’re not Elmer Fudd and you have no right going
around shooting anything you want to just because you feel like it, all in the
name of sport, if you want to call it that.
Number III:
No offense
to Folgers coffee, but wouldn't the best part of waking up, be the fact that
you actually woke up and didn't die in your sleep?
Don't get
me wrong, I'm sure having Folgers in your cup is a nice perk (pardon the pun)
but it definitely isn't the best part of waking up…just saying
All things
considered though, if you're going to go, dying in your sleep would be the best
way to do so, regardless of if there was Folgers in your cup or not.
However, if
we’re being real here, life sucks more than Monica Lewinsky, so maybe just
waking up isn’t all that great, so I say screw the coffee and wake up with some
hard liquor in your cup followed by a nice Xanax biscotti.
Number IV:
I have some
really bad news for you, whether you want to believe it or not, the children of
today are not the future as we were lead to believe, but rather they are little
sons of bitches with horrible attitudes and evil intentions.
Gone are
the days of kids chomping on Flintstone chewable vitamins, wearing Kool-Aid
smiles and of course kids saying the darndest things.
We all know
that there are a few good apples in the spoiled bunch, but unfortunately they
are few and far between, because most are rotten to the core and filled with
gross and nasty worms, real bad “seeds” if you ask me.
This horrible
brat epidemic could be blamed on the video games they play, the music they
listen to or even on the movies/television shows they watch, but realistically
we all know it’s our own damn fault, we created these little monsters and now
we must pay the piper.
Number V:
When
someone calls you a motherfucker, are they implying that you fuck your mother,
or that you fuck a mother, because honestly the latter isn't really all that
bad, and if you happen to be a redneck I guess neither is the former.
Just
wondering.
Number VI:
Before the
person(s) demanding raises for all those fast-food employees does so, maybe
they should get all the staff together and let them know that they need to show
they deserve it first.
Since all
this stuff started about giving raises to these employees, I started paying
better attention to the service I received at these said establishments, and lo
and behold it was less than stellar…I know, no big surprise there.
If anything
it has showed me that they do not feel they have to work for this extra money
they are asking for, that just because the cost of living has gone up so should
their paycheck, and unfortunately that’s not the way it works.
As long as
the employer is paying you at or above minimum wage than all is good, they
aren’t breaking any laws and/or operating a sweat shop, sorry to break it to
you.
Fast-food
employment has always been an entry level position into the workforce as a
whole, and not a stopping point, when this changed I’m not really sure but it
certainly does puzzle me.
I know jobs
are limited nowadays thanks to the economy, and sometimes you have to take
whatever is available, but a fast-food clerk should not be a career, but rather
a stepping stone onto bigger and better things.
Your resume
should only start with that job, not end with it, well that is unless you are
hoping to move up through the ranks within the company, then by all means go on
with your badself.
For the
record, I’m not saying that these employees don’t deserve a raise of some kind,
but you must remember that with more money comes more responsibility, this is
how it is across the board so just be prepared.
Number VII:
Idolizing a
musician (or any other celebrity for that matter), who passed on by their own
hands or by any other means, solely because you enjoyed their body of work is completely
ridiculous.
I’m not
hating, I’m just saying.
If you want
to look up to someone who is no longer with us, who deserves it, then try
someone like Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Teresa and/or Gandhi, just to name a
few.
Now there’s
absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying and/or even admiring an individual’s
body of work, but you shouldn’t allow those feelings to transform into blind
worship.
Being
unaware of who that person really was behind closed doors, is more important
than their work when it comes to looking up to them and/or emulating the
character they portrayed in the public eye.
Number
VIII:
Hard truth,
I hope you really like shopping at Walmart, because if you don't support small
businesses you'll have no choice but to.
Support
small businesses, because once they're gone, we are at the mercy of big
business, and that's not a good thing by any means.
Don't let
small businesses become extinct, fight to keep them alive, they are the
cornerstone of this great country of ours!
Go out of
your way to shop small businesses, it will pay off in the long run...literally.
Shop small,
with big results, support your local small businesses.
As I’m sure
you can tell I’m pro small business.
The End…
Well there
you go my friends, just some of the golden nuggets that I have stored in the
penthouse of my body.
Take from
them what you will, and feel free to rip me a new one if you so feel fit to, I’m
totally okay with that.
Thanks for
reading.