I’m about
to step onto my soapbox to discuss some things I personally can’t stand, some
things I feel should be changed for the betterment of all involved and some things
that just drive me plain old nuts for one reason or another as far as politics
are concerned.
After
hearing what I have to say you may be cheering me on as if I was Rocky in the
big fight of my life or you may be looking to beat the crap out of me as if I
was a piñata in the home of one of those illegal Mexican rapists that you hear
Trump talk about all the time, but either way try to listen to what I have to
say with an open mind, with all biases aside and any absurd undying political
party allegiance tucked neatly away in the back of your mental sock drawer like
a baggie of marijuana.
Forget cats
and dogs, this is the truth of politics…
1. There is
no such thing as a “government for the
people”! Democrat or Republican it doesn’t matter; and to think otherwise
is completely foolish and just like a porn star who was banged in the behind
from some dude named Long Dong Silver, that kind of thinking will only leave
you hurting in the end.
The only
thing that matters to them is money and power; they will do anything to get it,
even if that means making life hell for the rest of us.
2. Democrats
and Republicans are Washington's version of the Bloods and Crips, only in shirts
and ties.
Think about
it! Both groups use colors to represent their respective hoods and group
affiliation (red and blue), both
groups scare people into joining them and their cause and both groups (character) assassinate all those who
oppose them. See the connection? Democrats and Republicans are only out for
themselves and no one else, if you're not with them then you're against them. Don’t
believe me? Then try it out and see how well things play out for you.
Who do you
think controls the illegal drug trade, the arms distribution and just about any
other crime in their respective areas? I’ll give you a hint; it’s not the
people that the cops are watching, they are only the pawns in this game of
chess we’re playing in this country.
There's a
political turf war going on and we're caught in the crossfire. Open your eyes, smarten
up and get ready to duck and cover mutha fuggers! Forget Juggalos, the FBI
needs to classify politicians as a gang! O.G. baby…original government.
3. Remember
reading comic books when you were younger? When the villain would trick the
people into believing that he/she was on their side, that they only wanted the
best for them, then when the time was right he/she would reveal their evil plan
to take over the world and leave everyone feeling stupid for trusting him/her? Well
that politics in a nutshell.
They put on
an Oscar worthy performance just long enough to get them in the door of their
desired office, then once inside the mask comes off and their true identity is
revealed.
They keep
us fighting amongst ourselves and at odds with each other because the more
chaotic our lives are and the more we feel as if it's us against the world and
the less likely it is that we will come together as a cohesive unit and rise up
against the corruption and/or the government.
You want
change; well looking to a politician for it isn’t going to help because the
only change they will give you is what’s left in your piggy bank after you pay
all those taxes (aka protection racket)
they so pleasantly force us to pay.
4. When it
comes to abortion, a bunch of men sitting around discussing and/or attempting
to regulate it is freaking ridiculous! They should
stick to things they are familiar with, like prostate exams and having sword
fights with their buddies at the urinal for example.
Stop trying
to tell women how to live their lives, or in some cases due to medical concerns
not live their lives, all to avoid her not having an abortion. Do you realize
how crazy that is? Unless you were there for the conception then keep your
self-righteous opinions and judgment to yourself.
5. The separation
of church and state. Keep your religion out of the office! I can only imagine
the grimace on God’s face when His name is brought into all this madness.
I consider
myself a Christian but God isn’t running for President, thus His feelings on
the issues, as if any of these fools actually have the authority to speak for
Him, don’t matter and only stand to make the candidates look like a bunch of
bible thumpers who are planning on running the country in accordance to what
their God believes and not what’s best for the people. We all know how
dangerous that can be and if you don’t think so (like you’ve been living under a rock or something) then check out
what happens to other countries around the world when religious zealots call
the shots and run the show. Not such a pretty picture to say the least.
For anyone
fuming over that statement and currently condemning me to hell as a result, I
can guarantee you that if the religion was on the other foot, meaning that we
were talking about a Muslim here, you would all be cheering me on and telling
me to preach it. Such hypocrites!
6. Rock the
vote and all that other crazy crap they tell us to make us believe that our
vote truly matters (hanging chads anyone).
Voting comes down to the lesser of two evils; basically the individual who you
think would do less harm to our country than the other.
When it
comes to this election one doesn’t need the Hubble Telescope to clearly see the
“elephant” in the room, which is that
Mr. Donald “Grab them by the pussy”
Trump is not the Republicans first choice to “don” their organized-crime
family, but unfortunately he is now their only choice so it’s either sink or
swim with him. Regardless of his party affiliation the guy is a “jackass”, plain and simple, always have
been and always will be. With that said stop acting all offended and appalled
by him and his antics because we all knew what we were getting from jump,
nothing all that surprising here. Now if all this came to light from someone
like Mother Teresa then I would be shocked, but with him not so much.
I sometimes
wonder if this whole Donald Trump thing is one of those hidden camera shows (Alright Ashton Kutcher where are you hiding?),
as if he’s intentionally trying to get Hillary nominated and/or to make a
mockery of the Republican Party. Maybe he’s a double agent who’s working for
the Democrats? Nowadays you never know.
Before all
you Republicans start seeing “red”,
thinking I’m attacking your precious party and/or dogging your boy, the same
goes for Hillary. She lies, cheats and steals! Well what politician doesn’t?
Again, this is not a real shocker and not something that would keep me tuned in
next week to see the conclusion of. Both of them should be strapped in a
straitjacket and thrown into a padded room not running the country. They should
stick to eating their checkers and let someone more qualified and less mentally
grotesque, handle the office of the President of the USA.
Donald
Trump's new slogan should be, "If it ain't white, it ain't alright"
and Hilary Clinton’s entrance music should be “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire”…just
saying.
You don't
need to be Monica Lewinsky to see what's "cumming", which is reality
television at its finest and a regular Cirque Du Stupidity. This election is
such a spectacle and full of more drama than a daytime soap opera that it’s not
even funny. This whole debacle is making a joke of us and our country in the
eyes of the rest of the world, which is not smart and/or safe by any means.
The bottom
line is this. We’re all well aware of the candidates (not including the few vote-thrower-outers on the ballot) this
election, so get rid of all the nonsense
and cast your so-called precious vote for the monster who you feel will
scare you the least.
I know it’s
asking a lot but please try to make an informed decision as to who you vote for
and not just foolishly follow behind the elephant or donkey because that will
only leave you with a steaming pile of hot animal dung on your face. Honestly people
who vote for a particular political party exclusively, rather than the better
candidate scare the poop out of me; it’s like Ray Charles playing Follow the Leader
with a sacrificial virgin who has a date with a volcano god.
7. I think
all politicians should have to go over and fight with the brave men and women
of our armed forces every time they choose to deploy them, that way they will
think twice about fighting over the wrong thing. There will be no vacations and
no playing golf while our soldiers are fighting for our country, they can spend
their term on the battlefield if necessary.
You also wouldn't
have to worry about their safety while they were over there with our troops
either, because they would have one of the best fighting forces in the world
protecting them.
8. Republican
(I would say Democratic too but there
doesn’t seem to be any of those) radio/television talk show hosts remind me
a lot of wrestling managers. I’m not talking about the wrestlers in singlets
here, but rather the “What’cha gonna do
brother when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” kind or wrestler. Their
candidates can do no wrong and they talk them up as if they were the best thing
since masturbation.
They talk
more trash than a little bit about their candidate’s opponent, pretty much
calling them everything but the kitchen sink. Every time I hear one I
immediately picture Jimmy “The Mouth of
the South” Hart and his bullhorn getting all up in someone’s face and
starting shit. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!
These
people I actually find more humorous than anything else because I don’t know if
they really believe the crap they are spewing through their lips or if they
understand it’s all garbage and are just willing to do/say anything and
everything to fight for their parties reputation and street cred, I truthfully
think it’s the latter.
9. Politicians
never apologize for anything, especially during their campaign trail, it's
always so-and-so did it too as if that somehow justifies their misdeed and
wrongdoings. Didn't we have enough of that crap as kids? Didn’t our parents
tell us not to worry about what they did, and ask us if they jumped off a
bridge would we jump too? So then why is it acceptable for politicians?
In the
famous words of the great poet Porky Pig, “Th…th…th…that’s all folks”!
This
election is like a bitter custody battle between two dysfunctional and abusive
parents, no matter who wins we’re all screwed and destined to have our country grow
up to be a deadbeat, a thief and just an overall piece of shit.
Now relax
all you crazies with your undying political party allegiance, and know that I
personally think that all, which means both Democrats and Republicans, are
pieces of garbage and only out for the party they choose to align themselves
with and no good whatsoever. Some might say that’s a little harsh, well I say
it’s right on the money and totally justified. Maybe one day that will all
change, a politician(s) will rise from the ashes like a phoenix and prove to
me, and the rest of the world that they’re not all alike, but until that day
comes I’m sticking to my guns and remaining and cynical as ever when it comes
to these individuals.
When
talking politics with some people I wonder if "thinking" is their
second language. The mentality and actions of some of these mindless zombies
leaves me scratching my head in utter confusion and worried about the future we
are leaving for our children.
I’m Michael
Mele, and I approve this message!
