Thursday, June 9, 2016

“Buzz Kill: Looking at Life through a Pair of Beer Goggles”

We are going to be discussing addicts, alcoholics in particular, and not in an adorable Disney style fairytale kind of way either, but more of a “Dateline: To Catch an Alcoholic” kind of way. Needless to say it’s going to get a little messy in here and some feelings are bound to be hurt.

With that said, if you don’t currently have a problem with the magic elixir that can take cares away like Tylenol does headaches, then feel free to crack one open and sit back and enjoy. However, if you suffer from what I like to call “Beauty and the Beast” syndrome (a beauty of a person when your tank is on empty, but once full you become a beast, all thanks to the newly found liquid courage the great and powerful Oz. [ounces of alcohol that is] has granted you) or regardless of whether you’re sober or drunk you’re a dick, then maybe you should drink a cup of coffee and chill, because a sober dick is a lot easier to tolerate than a drunk dick any day.

Many American families are infested with them as if they were roaches, but unfortunately they don’t disappear when the lights come on or go “crunch” under your feet. The Hughes Brothers’ movie, “Menace to Society” could have very well been written about them. Am I being unfair to the alcoholic, ask anyone who has had to endure their crazy antics and dysfunctional behavior how they feel about the whole situation and you’ll have your answer.

You have those who do nothing more than cry in their beer, stay to themselves and keep the Budweiser’s Clydesdales galloping all the way to the bank, and for the most part harmless and not confrontational. Although they have a twin, an annoying doppelganger if you will, and those are the individuals who deserve a swift kick in the ass and who this piece is dedicated to. 

They don’t care who they hurt in the process, and the only twelve steps they are willing to follow are only the ones that lead to more alcohol. 

For the record, I don’t believe that all alcoholics are monsters, things that go bump in the night if you will, but unfortunately there are many who belong in a padded cell. They don’t care about anything or anyone, all they’re concern with is where their next drink is coming from and how soon can they get it, that’s the grim reality of it.

“It’s a disease! They have no control over it!”…

We classify many different conditions and addictions as diseases in this country, which I can only assume is to make people feel better about overindulging, physically, mentally and of course financially. This rule however seems to only apply to vices that are legal and that are making sizeable donations (aka taxes) to the pockets of good old Uncle Sam. One of the reasons marijuana isn’t legal is because people can easily grow it themselves, thus cutting out the middleman and avoid paying taxes on it, and we all know that our government doesn’t like it when they (undeservingly) don’t get their fair share of the pie.

Regardless how many “doctors” say it is. Doctors are not gods, they are fallible and not without personal bias, if they weren’t there would be no need for a second opinion. When it comes to doctors the good guys don’t always wear white, the stereotypical drug dealer has been replaced by a man in a white coat armed with a pen and a prescription pad and the crack house, replaced by the pharmacy. Prescription pill epidemic anyone? Medicine is a business and doctors are businessmen, you’d be wise to remember that.

I know that not all doctors are irresponsibly writing prescriptions and/or consciously contributing to the demise of our civilization, however, there are a good percentage of them who are and I tell you this to hopefully open your eyes to what’s really going on in this world of ours. The X-Files said it best, “The truth is out there”!

If alcoholism is indeed a disease, shouldn't the alcoholic who is pulled over for drinking and driving be taken away in an ambulance instead of a cop car, brought to a hospital instead of a jail? Society's double standard?

It is a conscious decision made from a sound mind, not a birth defect or a little beer bottle sitting on their shoulder talking them into getting down with the drink. We all have the propensity to be addicted to something, we like something we want more of it, that’s how it is. So I guess we’re all diseased, right? Now off course these addictions vary from person to person, some can partake in their personal pleasures every now and then without letting them overtake their lives, while others just can’t let go of the dragon and do everything in their power to continuously peruse it.

The whole “disease” mentality is a way for alcoholics (and sympathizers) to justify their unhealthy behavior and as a means to help family/friends keep the facade intact of a loving and caring family member/friend, because it’s more comfortable to believe that it’s not their loved ones performing these destructive acts but rather the disease making them do it. We are lead to believe from a very young age that anyone born under our family crest loves us unconditionally and only have our best interests at heart, but “family” is only a word and not a contract. Because someone shares our bloodline doesn’t mean that they share our commitment and feelings towards one and another. That may sound dark and bleak, but it’s reality whether we want to accept it or not.

Classifying it as such is a slap in the face to those who are truly battling legitimate diseases, in the same way that an individual who never served this great country of ours, but claimed to, only for the praise and accolades such a position would warrant, would.

"Forget alcoholism, the real dreaded disease that is sweeping the nation is gulliblism, it's where the poor unfortunate victims believe everything that they are told without question!"

“Alcoholics and other drug addicts aren’t one in the same. You’re comparing Apples to oranges here!”…

You’re an alcoholic you’re sick, overcome by a dreadful disease that controls you as if you were Achmed and it Jeff Dunham. Alternatively though, if your preferred poison happens to be that of an illegal street drug you’re considered a no-good addict, plain and simple. There are no heroinaholics! 

Some people will lead you to believe that an addiction is an addiction, and that one is not treated any differently than another, but I can guarantee that if you ask someone who hits the crack pipe instead of sips from a can for a good time how they are treated and viewed by the masses you will get the real story.

When you’re an alcoholic you go to AA, but at the same time if you’re an addict of any other drug the only letters you see are DEA. An alcoholic gets off with a slap on the wrist and a brief stint in rehab, the addict gets thrown in the joint and is traded like a baseball card for packs of cigarettes. You’ll never see the property values drop because there’s a bar close by, but a crack house on the other hand, you might as well be living in the projects. 

I’m not trying to proudly waive the banner of illegal street drugs as an overzealous fanatic who is cheering for their favorite sports team as they go in for the win, would, nor am I saying that I think they should be legalized, I just don’t see why we treat alcoholics differently than any other addict in this country. Are alcoholics as bad as other drug addicts, absolutely!

“You don’t understand, they’ve had a rough life. They’re tortured souls”…

There are many out there who use alcohol as a means of coping, a way to escape from some terrible wrong and/or personal hardship that life has bestowed upon them, and to them I say welcome to the human race! You would be hard pressed to find one individual out there who didn’t experience their fair share of heartache and sorrow throughout their lifetime, but not everyone runs to their local liquor store/bar when the going gets tough and tries to drown their pain. You will never find solace in an empty bottle, just a temporary fix, and if anything your predicament will only get worse.

I hear the word, “selfish” thrown around a lot when discussing the suicidal, but the truth of the matter is that the word is more fitting when talking about alcoholics. When someone feels lonely and abandoned, which is the case with many suicidal people, who exactly are they being selfish to; at least that’s how they see it. Now a drunk on the other hand they knowingly, with a sound mind, decide to partake in a drug that not only harms themselves but also those around them. Whatever the reason, they feel their needs out weight the needs of the many, including those of their so-called loved ones.

There are healthier and less destructive ways to overcome the travesties we have faced. I’m not trying to sound heartless or uncompassionate to their plights, but we’ve all have been there, and most of us have survived to see another day without the aid of alcohol.

“What? You mean we should be responsible for our own actions and stop blaming them on something else? That’s sacrilegious and totally not how we do things here. Get out of here you witch!”… 

To paraphrase the great poet Shaggy (Mr. Boombastic if you’re nasty), “It wasn’t them”…or at least that’s what they want you to believe. We need an exorcism, they are all possessed by an evil alcoholic spirit…a spirit they bought from the liquor store nonetheless.

We treat alcoholics as if they are the victims, but they are far from it. They are not the victim, we are. We need to stop having pity on the abuser. We wouldn’t have sympathy for the man who beat his wife, so why do we for the people who destroy the lives of many around them and all those in their destructive paths?  This fact amazes and leaves me scratching my head in utter confusion. They are the aggressors, the ones behind a good portion of the unnecessary madness that covers this country like a tent around the home with termites, yet we are told that we should have pity on them and turn the other cheek to their wrong-doings.

We are too soft, we coddle those who don’t deserve it and if there’s money to be made, more than willing to look the other way and act like we didn’t see anything at all. 

I can guarantee that there are some who are reading this that think I’m crazy, that having a drink or two isn’t a bad thing, and to them I say you are correct. The problem isn’t the alcohol but rather the alcoholic. I’m sure this next statement is going to get me into hot water, but it’s the same thing when it comes to guns, it’s not the gun that’s the problem it’s the person behind the trigger that is.

“Hello! May I HELP you?”…

I’m all for someone getting help, but what I don’t understand is why they want to be anonymous while they are getting it? While they are out getting their drunk on and running amok they are as loud and obnoxious as can be. One would think they would be happy to let the world know they are getting help, that's a good thing, and get their drunk on in private, because that's embarrassing. 

You want to do something about being out of shape you go to a “public” gym and workout, or go to a “public” park and go for a run or even to a “public” restaurant and order a salad while everyone else is pigging out on pizza. You’re proud to show people that you’re concerned about your health and wellbeing. You want to stop drinking you go a private meeting, which is closed off to the public and totally secret, like you’re in the mob. I’m not trying to knock anyone for getting help with a drinking problem; I just don’t understand why some people feel shameful about it, but if it works for them then that is all that matters.

I can’t stand those pretend quitters though, the ones who only say it because it’s the right thing to say and/or because they are looking for that, “awww poor alcoholic” pseudo-love crap. Telling someone that you want to go to rehab/detox when you have a load on, is the same thing as telling someone you’re worried about your heart as you’re scarfing down a Big Mac, large fries and a diet soda…because you’re watching your weight. Stop the madness, if you don’t want help and plan on drinking until the day you die, man up and hit the bricks, never to return. Do something worthwhile for those who are unfortunately (dis)graced by your presence, it’s the least you could do. You already, “screwed the hooch (pooch)” with your life, don’t make the same mistake with someone else’s.

I'm not saying that alcoholism isn't difficult to overcome, but it's possible and for those who have, they should be commended and admired for their strength and the courage it took to conquer their demons, very admirable.

The recovering alcoholic is fine; it’s the repeat offenders we don’t like.

“How do you know what it’s like? You’re not an alcoholic!”…

What makes me an expert on the topic, how long do you have? I’m just kidding; I’ll give you the condensed version, which is a privilege I was never awarded when I was forced to sit through all those inane ramblings by some intoxicated booze hound when I was a child.

I have almost forty years of experience dealing with the walking drunks, both as close family and family friends who seem to come free with the purchase of every case of beer, and unlike my fathers (yes that is correct, plural), they never left. I drink, and yes I have my favorites, but I do so in moderation and continue to maintain a functional life…even with the alcoholic gene in my DNA.

I’ve heard all the excuses, blaming everyone and everything (except for themselves of course) on why it is that they drink like a fish. I’ve witnessed the unapologetic thievery, the ridiculous brawls and the complete lack of respect for all involved. When the well ran dry these people drank just about anything that contained alcohol, mouthwash, cold medicine and even aftershave, trust me I’ve seen it firsthand. I’ve had occasions, regardless of the setting, ruined by their unremorseful antics. These people made my life very unsettling, if it was a stomach it would have been upset and they would have been the crippling pains that kept me on the toilet heave-hoing and praying to God that it would all end soon. Let’s just say that living with them has been anything but a happy hour.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I’ve been there, done that and not ever wanting to go back. 

“Last call!’…

The whole mindset around alcoholism is completely ridiculous and utterly absurd. People really need to step back, remove their feelings from the situation, and reassess the whole thing. It’s hard to see clearly when your eyes are full of tears. 

We all know that partaking in alcohol can result in a good time, and at the risk of sounding cliché and/or like one of those afterschool specials, do it responsibly and plan accordingly if you know it’s going to be flowing freely like a fire hydrant on a hot day on a city street. When it becomes a problem, you become a problem, and that’s not cool.

Final thought; the alcoholic is the person, not some uncontrollable disease that some poor unfortunate individual comes down with and/or is born with, and when dealing with an alcoholic loved one, your love for them is all in vain if it’s not tough.

“I love you man!”…


Monday, March 14, 2016


“Holy shit on a shingle, Batman”! Guess what, party people? I have a very special guest up in my crib today. The up-and-coming rapper from the Bronx, which is in NY (better recognize), has stopped by The Insane Asylum to share a little bit about himself with you. Sit back, pop open a cold one (pour some out for a dead homie if necessary), and get to know the one and only DIRTY BLACK.

Let the party begin…  

1. The streets, your lady or your bitch?

DIRTY BLACK: I left the street life alone. I'm an ex-drug dealer. I would pick my lady because she would be there to hold me down, or at least I would like to think that. As far as a bitch well she would be just that, there for me to fuck when I’m ready to.

2. What would it take for you to collaborate with Vanilla Ice?

DIRTY BLACK: A music video for the song guaranteed, and of course 5-10 thousand dollars (Ice,Ice Baby)!

3. Your music, from experience or from Hollywood? 

DIRTY BLACK: My music is definitely inspired by my real life experiences; there are no fabrications in my material. I don't look at Hollywood movies or the Hollywood lifestyle to motivate my song writing.

4. Do you sing in the shower or rap?

DIRTY BLACK: I think of new song ideas when I'm in the shower, new hooks, new bars, etc. Singing is out of the question; instead of waking up the dead I would probably kill the living. I won't be performing at karaoke night any time soon.

5. Where do you draw inspiration from for your music?

DIRTY BLACK: My life, other people's lives, the news, the media. I draw inspiration from other people's music in general. I love all kinds of music.

6. If you could have beef with any rapper out there, who would it be?

DIRTY BLACK: I would have to say Kendrick Lamar. I mean he did take a cheap shot at my city, New York, in the past. I had a diss record killing him but some of the people on my team asked me not to put it out. They were telling me from a business stand point that California is a huge market and that I need the fine people of California to support DIRTY BLACK. I didn't want them to hate me.

7. What do you think of the current state of rap music? 

DIRTY BLACK: It's watered down. The rap industry needs an artist like me, a real lyrist that's not coming with that bubble gum gimmick bullshit.

8. Women, bitches and hoes or ladies and lovelies?

DIRTY BLACK: Women are very important to the world, they play a major part. Bitches and hoes are just no good. Gold diggers are always looking for a come up, groupies too, things of that nature. Ladies and lovelies are decent women who respect themselves; they don't act like bitches and hoes, so I respect them too.

9. East Coast, West Coast or somewhere in between? 

DIRTY BLACK: I'm from the east coast, New York. I love the west coast, it’s beautiful out there. I do plan on moving but I'm not sure where, so right now it's up in the air as far as where I'm going to be living.

10. Who do you look up to musically?

DIRTY BLACK: KRS-ONE, Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, 2PAC, Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, Kool G Rap, NAS, Mobb Deep, Kurtis Blow, Wu Tang Clan, Redman, Michael Jackson, Prince, James Brown and the list goes on and on.  

11. 2 Pac, dead or alive?

DIRTY BLACK: To everybody out there who thinks that 2PAC is alive. Please let that man R.I.P. I saw the autopsy tape with my own eyes a month after he died, the actual tape and not something that everyone saw on a documentary. A friend of mine that used to work for XXL magazine got a hold of the tape, and I watched it at his house. 2PAC's mother, Afeni Shakur said that she "cremated" him, so 2Pac is dead, unfortunately.

12. Are you down with OPP?

DIRTY BLACK: When I was younger I would have said YES, but I'm a little older now and my main focus is handling my business so NO! I'm not down with O.P.P. I'm no longer indulging in casual sex.

13. The "N word", out of place in rap music or absolutely fitting? 

DIRTY BLACK: A lot of people do get offended by the "N" word, but for me and millions of people from the slums all over the world, we grew up using the word in our everyday vocabulary. It's hard to ask someone to stop using a word that they have been using for most of their life. That's why you hear it in a lot of rap music, because those artists come from those ghettos that I'm talking about. As rap artists we are kind of like ghetto news reporters, and using the "N" word is a part of the dialect that we use.

14. Do you rap for the love of the game or with the hopes of breaking the bank? 

DIRTY BLACK: I would have to say a little bit of both. My music means everything to me, and yes I want to have major commercial success, what artist doesn't. I'm here to make a difference and change lives but I can't do those things without success.

15. When did you first discover your passion for rap?

DIRTY BLACK: I fell in love with rap and hip hop when my brother and his friend used to play RUN DMC, Doug E. Fresh, KRS ONE, and even before that when my pops used to play Kool & the Gang. I used to be a little kid hanging with my cousin and some of his friends in different studios. They are the ones that made me feel that I could rap. I used to just write verses, but then I started writing songs. It was hard for me because I was so used to only writing verses, so I had to make the transition.

16. Yo' Mama! How's your relationship with her, 2 Pac or Eminem (pre-rehab)?

DIRTY BLACK: My relationship with my mother is great, even though we don't see eye to eye all the time. When I was on the streets selling drugs she didn't approve, and she let me know it. She always believed in me. She didn't smoke cigarettes or use drugs. She wasn't in jail or anything like that. She was just a hard worker that believed in having something. She was always there for me and I loved that.

17. How would you classify your music?

DIRTY BLACK: My music is outstanding, it speaks for itself. My new mixtape (“THE GAME CHANGER”, coming real soon!), that will be coming out soon, sounds like an album. Sometimes I make songs from my life experiences and sometimes I make songs that people want to hear. My songs are art that everybody from every walk of life can or should be able to relate to.

18. What's your part in the overall music making process?

DIRTY BLACK: I write my own songs, I don't use songwriters or ghostwriters. I don't get down like that. If you heard me spit it you can bet your life I wrote it. I'm very picky when it comes to my beats. When I'm with a producer listening to beats sometimes I hear something that I like right away, but most of the time it's a long process. I don't make beats myself, I just write my songs.

19. Racism in America, your thoughts? 

DIRTY BLACK: It's crazy that it’s 2016 and we are still dealing with racism and hate, instead of everybody trying to make this world a better place collectively. Why not try to make money with me or do something positive together instead of having hate towards me because of the color of my skin? Everything is subject to change, people need to keep that in mind.

20. Please tell us there's no Stanky Leg, Crank That or any of that other random nonsense in your future? 

DIRTY BLACK: No! I'm not into making gimmicky songs. Lyrically I hold myself to a higher standard. You will hear some club bangers and some party songs, but you won't hear about DIRTY BLACK making a new dance because that's not what I do. Whoever’s out there doing that, to each their own, but I do what works for me.

21. How'd you come up with the name DIRTY BLACK?

DIRTY BLACK: A lot of people don't know this but I didn't come up with the name "DIRTY BLACK ". My cousin and one of my friends started calling me that because my nickname was "BLACK" and I used to always carry a gun. When I would run into them they would want me to chill and hang out, but I used to tell them I can't because I was dirty, meaning I was carrying a gun. So after 2 or 3 months of not hanging with me they started calling me "DIRTY BLACK ". It had nothing to do with music; hell I wasn't even doing music at the time.

That’s all she wrote…

Well there you have it, Mr. BLACK, or DIRTY BLACK if you’re nasty, letting you know exactly how it is. Make sure to show him some love and appreciation for his time here with us. 

Please forgive my attempt at being street, because honestly the only thing I know about the streets comes from the one named Sesame! The only time I was ever riding dirty was when I was stuck in traffic and shit myself after a questionable lunch from the gas station. 



Tuesday, February 16, 2016

“Stop, Drop and Hop or Come in and Stay a While?”

There are two kinds of people when it comes to using the crapper, and I’m not talking about the public one here, because hopefully no one uses those cesspools unless absolutely necessary. I’m talking about your own personal porcelain potty.

You have the individuals who are in and out with a quickness like Superman in a phone booth at the first sign of trouble, then you have those who set up shop and make it a home away from home within a home. I myself am the latter, and damn proud of it.

Now some may scratch their heads in confusion and ask why one would purposely stay firmly planted on the pot while being surrounded by their own stank, unless of course they were having tummy troubles and/or a professional masturbator. Well my reason is simple; I prefer to deal with the shit that’s inside the door instead of the shit that’s on the other side of the door. By that I don’t mean that I have a poorly trained pet that leaves turd nuggets all over my house like landmines, but rather people who are so annoying they could make Jesus (and I don’t mean the gardener) ask for a do-over on that whole dying on the cross for our sins thingy.

You want to be a super pooper like me? Well listen closely because I’m about to tell you how it’s done.

There are secrets to surviving the dreaded gas chamber. Certain things one could do to make the overall experience really not all that bad, believe it or not, actually rather pleasant. Some of these steps may take time to master, but trust me in the end it’ll be completely worth it and you’ll be a much happier person in the long run as a result of it.

Here’s the first step, and this may not be all that easy for those of you with pancake asses, but for the the rest of you who are fortunate enough to have junk in your trunk this’ll be no problem whatsoever. Plug the hole! Don’t get it twisted; the hole I’m talking about plugging here is not the one to your backdoor, but the one to the seat of the bowl you’re doing your business on.

This may require some wobbling as if you were a Weeble and/or possibly even some tushy touching, so make sure to keep some Purell readily available just in case. Wedge those buns in there tightly, like you were stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey. That septic stream should see nothing more than the dark side of your moon.

Why do this you may ask? The answer is simple; it’s to avoid any raunchiness from escaping the bowl. That way regardless of how long you plan on visiting, you can do so without aggravating your nostrils and/or taste buds if you happen to be one of those extremely ripe bitches where your aroma is so thick you could taste is.

As a backup, hanging a car air freshener from the doorknob will definitely help in the case of a ventilation emergency. Sure it won’t mask the whole smell, but a mixture of pine trees or new car and crap is still better than just plain old crap, just saying.

Step number two, which coincidentally involves taking a number two, funny how that worked out.

Don’t be too quick to flush your friend. The reason being of course is because most people associate the flush with the last step in the pooping process, and if you’re not out the door shortly after they come banging like they were the police. Let your new buddy hang around for a bit. Let him enjoy his freedom from the bowels before being washed away to his eternal resting place.

Nothing makes others feel the need to use the bathroom more then the sound of that door closing. I believe it’s a mental thing, that or a pain in the ass thing, and I’m not taking about hemorrhoids. They’re as fine as can be without a care in the world, completely void of any bladder and/or anus waste, at least until they notice the threshold to the toilet blocked off.

That’s why saving the flush for the final act, and not a second before, is imperative and not to be passed over. Doing so will help you avoid any unnecessary headaches while you’re trying to relax.    

The last step, which is just as important as the previous two and should not to be taken lightly, is to bring a lunch or at least a snack in with you. You’re going to be away from the outside world for quite some time, and you wouldn’t want to pass out from hunger and end up face down, ass up on the bathroom floor. Been there, done that, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

I would also highly recommend carrying prepackage noms here, because you wouldn’t want poop particles on your food, ummm grodie to say the least.

Aside from edibles, bring in things to keep you occupied while you’re lavatory lounging. Here are some suggestions. Maybe take up needlepoint, start playing a portable gaming system and/or if you’re so inclined, bring in that car engine that you’ve been rebuilding.

There’s nothing like reading a good book on the toilet, and if you’re a writer, all you need is a pen because any adequately stocked bathroom is going to have plenty of paper. What about arts and crafts, if that’s your thing feel free to get down with some finger painting, just please wash your hands when you’re done.

For the record, on cold days there is absolutely nothing wrong with brining a blanket or space heater in with you, if anything you’d be wise to let the heater run for a bit before doing your duty (huh huh) to avoid cold seat shock.

Let me put it this way, you’ll be hard-pressed to find something of mine that doesn’t have more fecal matter on it than Kanye West's teeth, but I don’t sweat it at all because there’s always soap.

Remember with great power comes great responsibility, so use these skills I taught you wisely and don’t abuse them. For example if you’re a beginner, or a young sprout with tiny little poops, then I would suggest playing it safe and not risking it. Be like SEAL Team Six, get in and out before anyone knows you’re there, making sure to bury your own stinky little brown turd (aka Bin Laden) at sea in the process, otherwise the operation would be considered an epic fail.

Here’s what I had to deal with, and ultimately why I say what I do.

Growing up we had many visitors who felt compelled to use their toilet time to smoke a cigarette, drink a cup of coffee and drop a deuce, so you could only imagine the funk that they left behind.

With that said, back then I was a hit it and quit it kind of fella when it came to using the facilities. I wasn’t about to let myself ferment in that toxic concoction of shit, smoke and coffee.

As time progressed, circumstances changed and I was better able to manage the shitter to shitee relationships, which allowed me slow down and enjoy my time in the inside outhouse. Give it time, you’ll get there too.

There you have it, the “How to” survival guide to making the best of a shitty situation and getting the most out of your bathroom time. They don’t call it the “rest”room for nothing.


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

“When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Go Crying?”

I'm sick and tired of hearing all this crap from Cam Newton! He’s trying to justify his actions in regards to how he handled things during the post-game press conference for Superbowl 50. We won’t even touch on how he was acting on the field during the big game, that’s for another time.

Showed up to interview with a chip on his shoulder and acted very unprofessional. Wouldn’t answer questions and left shortly after arriving, without even so much as a whisper as to why. After watching him storm off like a toddler who just got told he couldn’t have any ice cream, it was pretty evident as to why he did what he did.

He is an idiot, plain and simple. Obviously no one likes to lose, but trying to blame his behavior on the fact that he did just that is completely ridiculous and utterly insane. We are not talking about kids on the playground here; we are talking about pro athletes who do this for a living. 

He acts as if he is only representing himself, but clearly he is not. He represents the Carolina Panthers organization and the National Football League (NFL) and gets paid extremely well to do so. Giving interviews, whether after a loss or a win, is all part of the job, don't believe me just ask Marshawn Lynch of Seattle Seahawks fame.

Now if he, and many more I suspect, would rather not give interviews then they should take a sizable pay cut and not be eligible for the captain position of their respective teams. With any job you need to earn your money and title, it’s not just handed to you because you perform one aspect of your overall responsibilities at a higher level than most. This is the case with the majority of jobs out there, and football should be no different.

He needs to grow up and act like a professional and a positive role model to all those kids who look up to him. It takes more than giving a kid the ball when you score a touchdown to make you something to write home about. I’m not trying to discount the gesture, but in all reality that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Considering that Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall building in a single bound, I’m sure he can survive a loss. Trust me, the Panthers will have another shot at the big game in the years to come, there’s no doubt about that. Now with that said, it’s time to be a man and stop acting like an overgrown spoiled child.

My feelings have nothing to do with the team he plays for and/or my undying allegiance to any other team, so fanboys please stand down. I believe for the money these players are paid, they should be more than happy to do what is asked of them, especially when it comes to the fans, which is absolutely who these interviews are for. I know it was the Superbowl, but there’s still no excuse for how things unfolded on his behalf.

Cam Newton…the man, the myth, the crybaby? Only time will tell.

Also, this is not a black and white thing; this is a wrong and right thing. People would still feel the same way they do towards Newton’s actions even if he happened to be white. So please stop with all that nonsense.


Sunday, September 6, 2015

“Jesus Christ Socialist”

Hello all you party people out there in cyberspace, I have great news for you; today you get a break from me and all my inane ramblings. First off, thank you for visiting The Insane Asylum, now sit back, get comfortable and please welcome my very special guest Mr. Kevin Hightower to our ward. He’s not looking to just rock the boat here, he’s planning on capsizing that some beach! When he’s through, the Titanic will look like child’s play.

Kevin Hightower
Writer/Journalist from Houston age 37

Let me start you off with what the "Religious Right Wing" in America would have you believe is an oxymoron. I am a Christian and I don't believe it is a sin to be gay or to hand out a gay marriage license. I know for a fact that for some people who identify as gay didn't choose to be gay. I know that God is love incarnate and that he doesn't punish his creation for being his creation. Cover your ears because this is going to ruffle some feathers. God created gay people.

And you can quote things from Leviticus and Deuteronomy to me all day but it's going to fall on deaf ears because I consider myself a "Red Letter Christian." It's not a denomination and we have no brick-and-mortar churches that I am aware of. It means that I have a Bible with all of Jesus' words highlighted in red. Before I ever read the Bible in its entirety I had to simplify things for myself and I decided the way to demystify what this religion was all about was to study the words and deeds of the man it is named for.

When I focused in on nothing but the words of Jesus Christ I made a stunning realization. The Jesus on TV and in too many churches is not anything like the guy I read about in the Bible. The real oxymoron here is "Religious Right Wing." Why? Because Jesus was a liberal and a socialist.

I think there's two different views of Christianity at play here. The one that gets all the media attention is more often than not contrary to the deeds and action of Jesus Himself.

When I was eight-years-old my dad told me my mother was going to burn in hell because she was raised Catholic. He described in graphic detail the pain of being burned alive forever and ever. I was pretty perceptive for my age and by that point my dad gave me the creeps already. But he made me promise not to tell or I'd be in huge trouble so I held it inside for almost a year until I became a pale shadow of a once-happy child. I barely slept that year because the night brought dreams of my mother, the one I trusted and has always believed in me, and stood by me, screaming in flames.

No eight-year-old should ever have to bear that burden and if I had a time machine I'd take it straight back to that little boy and grab him, hug him and tell him it's not true. This was my dad's way of being Christian. Jesus said to love one another. There's no verse about scarring your child for life.

What it did do was lead me astray later in life because I wanted no part of a God that would send the most patient and kind woman I've ever met to a pit of fire. Jesus did say woe to anyone who leads one of these little children away from me and that it would be better for my dad to have a millstone hung around his neck and thrown into the sea than to turn a child away from Jesus.

Finally, the lack of sleep and nervousness became so noticeable that my mom, aunt and uncle literally wondered if I was being abused.  And I was mentally being abused. I broke and finally told them. They reassured me no such thing would happen. My uncle had a private talk with my dad and I didn't hear all of it but I know it involved him not living to tell about ever trying something like that again. My uncle was ready to be Jesus' millstone.

So when I grew older I despised the religion. Then during a troubled time I set about reading the entire Bible cover to cover looking for answers and have done so twice. I learned that all that time I spent reading the Old Testament was summed up in a sentence or two by Jesus. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. This is the whole of the law and the prophets (The Old Testament). In other words if you just do those things, because of Jesus’ sacrifice you have fulfilled God’s law.

To my great surprise focusing in on just the words Jesus said revealed that He was nothing like the Jesus paraded around by "Fundamentalists" and "Conservatives." As a matter of fact I found that He was quite the Liberal in His day, with the Pharisees and Sadducees being the Conservative establishment. He had liberal ideas like giving to the poor and not concerning yourself with whether or not they waste the money (welfare, food stamps). He healed the sick freely without asking anything in return (universal healthcare). He was not a Capitalist at all; He believed in the redistribution of wealth and commanded His followers to give all their possessions to the poor and follow Him.

When asked if His people should pay taxes to Rome he told them to give Caesar what is due to Caesar and give God what is due to God. Yet today the Republicans and the Tea Party claim to be the Christian Party while insisting we shouldn’t be taxed, it’s ok for 1% of the population to have 99% of the money because they worked harder than you, healthcare shouldn’t be free and you have no right to it and welfare programs for the poor who really need it, especially children must be abolished because of the few who take advantage.

Don’t take my word for it. Go read the Republican platform, the Tea Party Platform and then the red words in the Bible and tell me I’m wrong.

And now this court clerk Kim Davis thinks that she will go to Hell for handing out a marriage license to gay people. Even if you insist on believing that homosexuality is a sin, as a Christian you should be well aware that if Heaven and Hell were based on our deeds we'd all be in trouble. To say that you can go to Hell for acting any certain way is to deny Jesus' sacrifice altogether.

If she found this morally objectionable she can say it was because of her religion, but she'd be wrong. If you go with the idea that it is sinful to be in a gay marriage then all you have to do to keep your morals in line is not be in a gay marriage yourself. The same freedom that afford people to believe and do what they feel is right morally, like people who want to be in a loving gay marriage, is the same freedom that allows her to practice her version of Christianity however misguided it might be.

And to those who think she can't be fired or punished, you absolutely can force someone within your employ to do something they find morally objectionable because they have the freedom to seek employment elsewhere.

I don't begin to think that I have the capacity as a human to fathom the mind of God but there is one thing I am pretty sure about. He is no different than us in the respect that He wants people to love Him because they want to, not because they are forced to, which is why we have free will. So I would think God would find it objectionable for a country to force its citizens to worship Him because they wouldn't be doing it out of love, but at the threat of jail.

Would you want someone to say they love you at gunpoint? Or would you prefer they love you because you are you? If God wanted to make mindless drones to say they loved Him he surely could have done so. God doesn't want a Christian nation, he wants religious freedom. He wants you to love Him because you want to, not because Kim Davis says you have to.

What people who practice her modern brand of Christianity mistake in Jesus' words is when He says to let your light shine among men. She would have you believe this means wagging your tongue and telling other people what to do to not be sinful. The people I have met that truly let their light shine and touched my life are the ones who did so in their own actions. Love God and Love one another as yourself. Love your enemy. A real Christian never has to tell you they are one; you can tell by the way they treat you.

That same crazy dad of mine is on his 10th marriage. I never felt comfortable around him for obvious reasons so visits were sparse as I became an adult. I began to notice that wife after wife were extremely rude and short with me and I never understood why. That is until wife number nine came along. She was under the impression that she was wife number three but that was actually my mother who divorced him 20 years earlier.

She was extremely kind and warm. When they inevitably divorced I made contact to express my appreciation. She told me that my dad would tell her I was a criminal and a terrible person to explain why I rarely came around. Eight wives treated me poorly based on his lies. The ninth never treated me any way but kindly. She didn’t judge people based on another person’s words. She didn’t judge at all. She was truly letting her light shine among men.

Ironically my dad once stood up in a church service in front of this wife and talked about how terrible it was that churches were starting to let women speak openly in services. I’d much rather have heard what she had to say.

When I first started my freelance writing business from home I felt very alone and didn't know how it would work out. I read a lady's blog online who claimed to be making six figures and all I had to do to find out how (as if the $40,000 I spent on my BA in Journalism plus all the places I'd been published weren't enough) was give her $1,000 for her to coach me plus pay $40 a month to be a part of her message board with other writers. I wondered why if she was doing so well as a freelance writer, did she need my $1,000.

I wasn't going to spend any more money on this writing thing. The talent is there and the hard work had been done. I just needed guidance from someone who'd gone the freelance route. I started to correspond with a guy from one of the companies I contract through and we became friends.

He's sat up many late nights getting me out of jams before deadlines, teaching me the freelance ropes and introducing me to people who started sending me work. He never charged a penny. He never gets annoyed, and he even gives me advice in my personal life. He gives and he gives and when he's done with that he gives some more. So I never had to ask what his beliefs were. His light shines brightly among men. He's one of the best living examples I have ever seen of what Jesus said a Christian should act like. And he's gay. That's something to really think about if you count yourself among those who think you can't be gay and a Christian.

If everyone let their own light of kindness shine instead of protesting other's actions like Westboro Baptist Church, Kim Davis, Chick-Fil A and so many others, the world would be an awesome place. They spit at what they deem as sinners and call them vile names. But the man they claim to worship ironically was criticized in his time for eating and spending the majority of his time with sinners, prostitutes and tax collectors. Why? Because the well have no need for a doctor, but sick people do.

In Westboro Baptist's Bible, apparently their Jesus ran around with signs at the funerals of prostitutes that said "The only good whore is a dead whore." In Sunday school their children sing "Jesus hates you this I know, for Westboro tells me so."

If Jesus were on Earth today instead of 2000 years ago, I truly believe that people like Kim Davis, Westboro Baptist, and the extreme right of the Republican Party would be the very ones nailing Him to a cross.

And it would be all televised live on Fox News with Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity doing the commentary, followed shortly by another investigative report into the President's birth certificate.

God Bless America.

Kevin Hightower

Friday, August 28, 2015


For some this may be a bitter pill to swallow, and even not the most politically correct thing to say, but nevertheless it is true and needs to be addressed.

If the only time you speak up against a racial injustice is when the victim has the same color skin as yourself, then you are not fighting for a cause, you are fighting for a color and that is just as wrong as the person who committed the injustice in the first place.

If you want to truly abolish racism you need to be all in, because otherwise you might as well not even bother.

You mustn’t walk around with blinders on, just because the crime isn’t splashed all over the news, committed by a person(s) in a position of authority and/or warrants the presence of a loudmouth rabble-rouser who is more interested in lining his/her own pocket than they are with fixing the issue at hand, doesn’t mean it’s not happening and to think otherwise would be utterly foolish and irresponsible.

I know the police are a sore subject for many nowadays, and it is completely understandable all things considered, but whether you like it or not, the men/women in uniform who have sworn to protect us are not the only individuals causing these transgressions.

There are cases that don’t appear on the public’s radar, either because they won’t bring in the high ratings television and other news outlets crave or because they aren’t your “typical” acts of racism if you will.

We are lead to believe that the only true form of racism is white on black, but obviously we know that belief is fallacious, because racism doesn’t discriminate against any one particular race or another.

I won't pretend to know what it's like to be black in America, but also don't speculate that because I am white I have lived the so-called "perfect" life without a care in the world, because what you may find out could surprise you.

I have lived in many less than desirable areas growing up, experienced racism (not reverse racism, because racism is racism) firsthand many times, so don’t assume that I “don’t understand” as I hear many people say in regards to this matter.

What I endured was not an isolated case, I know that without a shadow of a doubt that I was not the only white person to ever experience these things, there are many similar situations out there regardless if you choose to acknowledge it or not.

Does it not matter that it was black on white instead of the reverse?

If that's how you think then you're just as ignorant as those who choose to hate for no other reason than the color of one’s skin, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

I am not trying to muddy the waters here, or take anything away from the plights we are currently facing as a country, I only want people to be aware of the bigger picture, to comprehend that there is more to the problem than what lies on the surface.

We need to stop separating ourselves by color and stand together against these atrocities as one, which is if we ever hope to stop the madness once and for all and to make our world a better place for all those involved.

We are all brothers and sisters, regardless of the color of our skin, so stop thinking separation and start togetherness!

We are only as strong as our weakest link, so we need to stop tearing each other down and start lifting them up, helping them survive this cruel world of ours.

This is not a cry me a river piece, I am not oblivious to the fact that some races have to endure this unfortunate burden more than others, I just want it known that it isn’t all as one-sided and skewed as some would lead you to believe. 

Now some people may not believe it is possible to be racist against whites, they will say that whites can only experience prejudice and not racism due to their overall standings in society.

Basically saying that the white individuals who beat Rodney King were racist, but the black individuals who beat Reginald Denny were prejudice, which I personally think is completely ridiculous, but what do I know.

The bottom line is this, regardless of what you call it, hate is still hate, and shouldn’t be tolerated by any race, period.

We can either continue to fight with each other , or for each other, we can continue to make excuses why things are the way they are, or we can do what needs to be done to fix it.

Not all whites are racists, and not all minorities are victims.  


Friday, August 7, 2015

“(Republican) Party Over Here”

The first GOP debate for the Republican Presidential race 2016 is in the record books, and if you ask me, all it did was further strengthen the stereotype that most Republicans are nothing more than white Christian males who want to do what’s best for their God, and not their country.
Now of course this time we did have a wild card thrown into the mix, the one and only Donald Trump, as if you didn’t already know.

Who made this feel more like a big time wrestling event rather than a GOP debate, a very mild verbal smackdown if you will, but I’m sure as long as it brought in viewers the party didn’t mind at all.

Things started off pretty basic, questions about immigration, spending and all the other traditional topics, but then it got crazy, as if a tiny car pulled up and a bunch of clowns got out.

The issue of abortion came up, and if you ask me, a bunch of men sitting around discussing ‪abortion is freaking ridiculous, they should stick to discussing things they are familiar with, like prostate exams and having sword fights with their buddies at the urinal.

Stop trying to tell women how to live their lives, or in this case possibly not live their lives, all to avoid her not having an abortion, do you realize how crazy that is! 

Then out of nowhere it became church, all the candidates started talking about their God, how He saved them and what He means to them and their campaigns. 

I could only imagine the grimace on His face when His name was brought into all this madness.

I consider myself a Christian, but God isn’t running for President, thus His feelings on the issues, as if any of these fools really speak for Him, don’t matter and only stand to make the candidates look like a bunch of bible thumpers who are planning on running the country in accordance to what their God believes and not what’s best for the people.

We all know how dangerous that can be, and I guess these boys don’t believe in separation of church and state, not hating on anyone, just stating the obvious.

The “elephant” (pardon the pun) in the room, at least in my observation, is that the Republicans are trying way too hard to be hip and cool. 

They are trying to pull a Bill Clinton, but unfortunately it is as awkward as a father going through a midlife crisis who is trying to hang with his teenage son’s friends at the club.

The two things I took away from this debate were that first, the Republicans seem deathly afraid of Hillary Clinton, Mrs. President if you’re a Republican, because all they did was talk a whole lot of crap about her as to prove they aren’t intimidated by her.

It kind of felt like a bunch of boys on the schoolyard poking fun at this one girl, but not because she had cooties or anything like that, but more so because they wanted to be her, or maybe even be with her. **wink, wink**

Secondly, I may not be a big fan of his, but from start to finish Donald Trump seemed like he was being truthfully with his answers and statements (I know an honest politician what an oxymoron), but at least to me that’s the way it seemed. 

Who knows, maybe he’s a better politician than I realize and he’s just pulling the wool over my eyes, but only time, and his actions, will tell that for sure. 

Finally, before all you Republicans start seeing “red” (pardon the pun **again**), thinking I’m attacking your precious party. 

Relax and know that I personally think that all, which means both Democrats and Republicans, are crooks and only out for the party they choose to align themselves with.

To me, voting day comes down to the lesser of two evils; the individual who I think would do less harm to our country out of those candidates who are running.

Considering that this is just the first debate, and knowing politics the way I do, I’m sure things are just going to get crazier and a whole lot more entertaining, so I have no doubt I’ll be speaking on this topic much more in the days to come.

Now back to your regularly schedule program.